


Closeted

by perhael



Category: House M.D.
Genre: F/M, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-31
Updated: 2010-08-31
Packaged: 2017-10-11 09:05:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perhael/pseuds/perhael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wilson and House discover some juicy gossip about two of the ducklings and the "broom closet of love".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closeted

**Author's Note:**

> Set somewhere in late season 2, after 'Euphoria' but before 'No Reason'.

House sat in his office, feet propped up on the desk before him, idly playing with his yo-yo. His lackeys were out finding him interesting cases (either that or they were just avoiding him; the net result was the same), and he was trying to keep himself amused with thoughts of Cuddy's ample bosom. Sadly, Cuddy's bosom was really only amusing if the woman herself was within earshot of House's lewd comments.

"Jimmy!" he called as the glass door opened. "Just the man I wanted to see. You're looking especially suspicious today."

Wilson parked himself on House's guest chair, swinging his feet up on the desk. "You'll never guess what I got from Angela in Pediatrics," he began without preamble.

"What, herpes?" House feigned shock. "I thought I'd warned you about keeping little Jimmy wrapped up around those nurses."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "First off, she's a doctor. Secondly, better shut up because you're going to want to hear this. You know the broom closet on the third floor?"

"Is this about cleaning products? Because if you're looking for a way to keep me riveted, you've just found it."

"You may have heard it referred to as the 'broom closet of love'. Ring any bells?"

"A few. I imagine it sets off veritable _alarms_ for you, though," House said, flinging his yo-yo at Wilson's chest for emphasis, retracting it at the last moment.

To his disappointment, Wilson blithely ignored both the jibe and the yo-yo. "Two of your minions were seen furtively sneaking out of it, one after the other."

House perked up immediately, yo-yo forgotten. "Chase and Cameron? Damn, I would've put money on that being a one-time thing."

"_Not_ Chase and Cameron," Wilson said, clearly enjoying having the edge on House.

"Chase and Foreman?" House's eyebrows shot up.

Wilson snorted. "You wish. Try again."

"What? No way, _those_ two? Hmm... so it wasn't just professional tension, after all."

"Or maybe the professional tension turned into something else," Wilson speculated.

"Sounds familiar, doesn't it?"

"Huh? Oh, come on, there was never any professional tension between the two of us!"

"Then how do you explain..." House said, waving his hand back and forth between them.

"Let's see, as I recall it, the first time I kissed you you were driving me insane and I needed a creative way of shutting you up."

"As _I_ recall it, we were fighting over a case. There, _professional_ tension."

"We were fighting because you were being a stubborn ass. You can't compare that to Foreman stealing Cameron's article."

House leaned back in his chair with a dismissive hand wave. "Same difference. End result's the same."

"I don't recall us ever doing the nasty in the third floor broom closet."

"'Doing the nasty'?" House snorted. "You make it sound so _vulgar_."

"Well, what would you prefer I call it?"

House pretended to think about it for a moment. "Hmm... 'bumping fuzzies'? 'Dipping the chip'? 'Carnal gymnastics'? 'Playing doctor'?"

Wilson snorted in amusement, shaking his head. "You're incorrigible, you know that?"

"So I'm told. So, wanna go make out? I hear there's a broom closet on the third floor..."


End file.
